Just a Little Problem
by InsaneBovine
Summary: The problem with the Genii, Major John Sheppard thought, was that they seemed to have allies everywhere. They had seemed like the perfect allies, now Atlantis has to face a little problem.
1. Chapter 1

This came to me whilst studying for my upcoming exams, it's not much for the moment but my mind is a scary place, so who knows what might happen.

**Disclaimer**: Stargate Atlantis and everything to so with it isn't mine, so please don't sue me. I'm only trying to relieve some stress.

Enjoy :-)

**_Just a little problem_**

_The problem with the Genii_ Major John Sheppard thought _was that they seemed to have allies everywhere_. He looked around the room. They were back at the infirmary on Atlantis.

Tucked in for the night like frigging kids.

Carson had enjoyed that, sending him and his team to bed, offering to read them a bed time story. He had told the Doctor that whilst he might look like a kid he was still a grown man and what was more an Air force Major so if the situation called for it he would be more than willing to show the good doctor that he could still kick some Wraith butt.

Carson Beckett had merely smiled and put him into bed.

Bastard.

John looked around again, Rodney was off snoring softly and Aiden mumbled something in his sleep. Teyla slept silently. He felt kinda lonely just sitting here, a pissed off expression on his face. There was still plenty of light in the infirmary. And Carson kept popping his head in occasionally, although for the last three times he'd just said something along the lines of 'John, sleep.'

'You know if you keep that expression on your face the wind will change and it'll be stuck there.'

He looked over to the last member of the 'slumber party'. If there was one thing he regretted it was forcing Elizabeth to go back to the planet with them.

'Look John I know you're upset, but until Carson and the others work out what is wrong then you'll just have to sleep.'

'I'm an Air force Major. I don't sleep. I do what I think is best.'

'You are also currently a nine year old boy. Who does sleep and does what he is told.'

'Don't remind me. Besides, I'm nine and a half.'

'Go to sleep John.'

Resigned John moved down further onto the bed. It felt uncomfortable, the bed being so large. It felt so cold. He knew he wouldn't be able to go to sleep so he let his mind wander back over the last few days. He was going to kill the Polterons, then go after the Genii, even if it meant staying up past his bed time.


	2. Convincing Elizabeth

**Disclaimer: **Again, they don't belong to me, although how I wish they did... :-)

Thanks to my reviewers, trust me, I love reviews oh and special thanks to Andrew for his "blessing" on this chapter hehe

**Convincing Elizabeth**

'So the long and the short of it are that they want to meet with you to negotiate a deal.'

'Any reason why?' Elizabeth Weir looked slightly confused. Usually her teams would only relay the information back to her and she would "yay" or "nay" it.

She looked at the dark haired man in front of her. His eyes were serious, but at the same time danced with the normal exuberance that came from returning off world with not only possible trading partners but without an injury amongst his normally accident prone group.

'No idea, although the governor was very excited when I said I would discuss it with you.'

She looked around the room.

'What do you think Major?'

The man considered it. Major Sheppard wasn't unfamiliar with seemingly innocent people they had met off world that turned out to be, well less than trustworthy.

'I think it sounds pretty good, but as we well know, the Trojan horse can be deceiving—'

'Look Elizabeth,' Rodney McKay was impatient, they had been back on Atlantis for two hours, one hour of which was taken up by a disbelieving Carson giving them all thorough physicals making sure that for once they were actually all in one piece, and he had yet to have a cup of coffee. He wanted out.

'I think these guys are the real deal, and if not, well then we do what we have done before.'

'What? Steal information off them, high tail it through the gate and then within a matter of weeks have a strike team come through the gate and try and take over Atlantis?'

McKay grimaced, okay that was probably the wrong thing to say, but really his arm was almost healed.

'The truth is Elizabeth, even with help from the Athosians and a few other planets; we are desperately low on supplies. These people are willing to trade food for what? A bit of Earth knowledge and some Stargate addresses. What is so bad about that?'

'You're just excited because they have _pholtras_.'

Elizabeth gave both men a look that silenced them straight away.

'First of all, I think it sounds like a good idea. What they want is reasonable and I'm willing to negotiate with them to see if we can provide what they want. Second, what on Earth is pholtras?'

'It's a highly caffeinated beverage, kind of like a mix between straight black coffee and a pack of power bars.'

Elizabeth shook her head, Rodney McKay might be a genius, but honestly he was wrecking his system with how much caffeine he drank. And the fact that sometimes it appeared that he lived solely off power bars. She returned to the subject at hand.

'When were they willing to meet again?'

'They said that if we were willing to trade with them they were ready to meet with you when you could fit them in.'

'How about we schedule a meeting with them tomorrow.'

'That sounds a little hasty Elizabeth.'

'We need supplies Major, Rodney was right, if we want to survive the coming winter then we have to make sure we have enough food.'

'The age old tale of the ant and the grasshopper.' McKay spoke, attempting to sound like a wise old man and failing spectacularly.

'What?'

'Never mind John.'

Another look from Elizabeth told them to be quiet.

'Tomorrow then people, 0900, be prepared for a return trip.' Smiling, Elizabeth gathered up the mission report and returned to her office.

John's eyes flew open at the sound of footsteps echoing on a floor. His eyes darting around, although he kept his head flat on a pillow. Within moments the familiar smells of antiseptic and crisp, clean linen registered in his mind. He felt the adrenaline abate and he rolled over. He looked around and grimaced.

Morning had broken quite sometime ago and his other team members were also beginning to rise. Absently, he ran his hand through his messed up hair as Carson Beckett entered the room.

'No brain waves over night then?'

'Sorry to disappoint, but we've been able to work out how they did it.'

'We _know_ how they did it Carson.' McKay was not a morning person. 'They drugged us. And now we are midgets.'

'Speak for yourself.' Aiden had always been a tall child; he was the same height as Rodney, although apparently he was a six year old boy.

'What about the age differences?' Elizabeth went straight to the point.

'Well you three,' Carson acknowledged John, Elizabeth and Rodney, 'appear to be about nine years old.'

'At first we thought it just took off thirty years of your physical appearance, the only problem with that would be that Aiden wouldn't be here and Teyla would be much younger if it did.'

Carson watched the five, well, _children_ in front of him. It was amazing, as he spoke; he could see all of them just turn off. He knew John suffered from an impossibly short attention span normally, but Rodney or Elizabeth? What about Teyla? He fell silent and merely watched them. It looked as if the drug was starting to affect more than just their bodies.

John had lost the thread of the discussion as Carson had started talking. What he really wanted to do was go and play with his racing cars. He started fidgeting. He wanted out. He hated hospitals. They were always so cold and unfriendly. As he watched his hands he felt eyes on him. He looked up into the blue eyes of Carson. They were full of concern.

'Major?'


	3. Making a Deal

**Disclaimer - **As I've said, they aren't mine

Please enjoy, and please review. Oh and by the way, this isn't exactly beta-ed, I usually get one of my friends to look over it, but that's only if I talk to them before I decide to post the next installment.

Just as an extra note, if you didn't guess in the last chapter, I refered to the Storm and the Eye, so I better warn you, I refer to Before I Sleep in this chapter, but it isn't really an integeral part of the plot.

**Making a Deal**

Elizabeth stood in awe of her surroundings. Whilst she had gone off world several times, each time reminded her of visiting a new country back on Earth. The moment she had stepped through the Stargate all she could see were the fields of grain, stretching far into the horizon.

'Impressive isn't it?' Rodney stood beside her, also gazing over what could possibly be the deal that could pull Atlantis out of the water, food wise anyway. Janus had solved the pulling Atlantis out of the water literally.

'Come on children.' John's voice pulled Rodney out of his day dream, he sighed. This one had been about pholtras. And that young Polteron woman who he had met last time he was here. Ah well, back to that later.

He watched Elizabeth talk to John in a low voice about what to expect, and any customs that she should adhere to. Rodney rolled his eyes. Like the Major would know anything like that. He had been too busy checking out that same girl. Suddenly his daydream wasn't so exciting. Taking a couple of faster steps, he caught up with the two leaders, leaving the two youngest members of the team to bring up the rear.

* * *

'My Lord. The people from Atlantis have returned. And they come with, as you asked, Doctor Elizabeth Weir.' 

'Very good Lorhan. Please bring them in.' The young woman bowed and moved out of the room.

After she had left the governor closed his eyes. In all his time as leader of his people, Philoneas had never known such fear as he did now. These people lived in the place of the ancestors, and yet according to their allies they were beyond evil. They had killed over 60 men who had come to protect the city of the ancestors from its evil invaders. He was curious though. When the first people from the city had come, they had been gentle, granted one of the men seemed very obnoxious and the other extremely cautious, if they were indeed the true descendants of the ancestors returned to the city, then they had every right to be careful.

On the other hand their allies were extremely powerful. And not to be reckoned with. Whilst these new people may have killed over 60 of their people the fact that the Genii were able to nearly take the city with so few only proved their might. It was apparently the evilness that these newcomers brought with them that had thwarted their attempts to reclaim the city for these people.

Philoneas reviewed his last talk with the people from the great city. If there was one fault of the governor of Polteron, it was that he was too trusting. He had been tricked only once, but even from that lesson, he still regarded every new person that came through the gate with the utmost patience and respect. These people were no different. And yet if he was to keep up the treaty with the Genii he would have to dissolve their trust. He had hated the fact that the Genii wanted revenge so desperately. He had hated the fact that he had been tricked so easily by their outward appearance. The people from the city had not known that people from the Genii were also on Polteron when they had come through the gate. That man had scared him. The one who had come through after the city people had returned to their home. The one called Kolya.

Kolya had threatened him to ensure that the evil ones did not return, or if they did, to hand them straight over to the Genii. He had said no to Kolya at this. He would not lead people to their deaths. He would instead ensure that the Genii could once again take control of the great city by removing the obstacles. Those obstacles he then found out came in the very people who he had invited back. The governor mouthed the names.

'Doctor Rodney McKay. Lieutenant Aiden Ford. Teyla Emmagan. Doctor Elizabeth Weir. Major John Sheppard.' The last name Kolya had said with such venom that the governor thought he would die from just the sound of the name. It was laced with such hatred.

He would not succumb to Kolya. He would do what he could to slow the people from the great city down. But he would not hurt them. He hoped that in time the people that the Genii hated so much would forgive him. Philoneas was not weak as the Genii supposed. He would give the Genii an opportunity to attack when the city was weak. But he could not slay these people. These people lived within the realm of the ancestors and he, Philoneas, leader of the Polterons, would not allow death to come to those that may be the true descendants of Atlantis.

* * *

'You do realise Carson, if you put both Elizabeth and I out of action, and even Rodney and Ford as well, we are in serious trouble.' John looked at the doctor trying to get him see reason. 'Who is in control of Atlantis?' 

Carson looked carefully over the five people in front of him. Teyla seemed amused by the slow drip of the saline into her IV line whilst Ford was mesmerised by his heart rate monitor. This was getting ridiculous. He wasn't about to tell the irate nine, _nine and a half_, year old in front of him that technically Carson himself had more power than both he and Elizabeth seeing as they both came to him when they needed injections. Or Tylenol. Or a hit around the head for not getting enough sleep. He did agree though, with both the head military officer and the leader of the expedition currently indisposed, Atlantis was in serious trouble.

'Help would be nice Carson.' Oh great Rodney had joined in.

'Look all I can do is try and keep you stable, which is easy enough, and don't you even think about breaking out of here and running the city. If you haven't noticed, you aren't exactly acting like rational adults some of the time.'

John was about to respond when he noticed Ford had now decided that his breakfast belonged on his sheets, the nurse who had just given him the food, the heart rate monitor, in fact everywhere except in his mouth. He obviously did not appreciate whatever the mess had to offer today. The sheets had now become a canvas for finger food painting.

'Ford?'

'He's behaving as a child would. Perhaps not quite the six year old he looks, but a child none the less. And by the looks of it, you all will experience such turns, some a lot worse than others, such as Ford at the moment. It seems that your minds are trying to work out what has happened, so your mental age is going to bounce around a bit, but hopefully we'll be able to work out whether we can reverse it.'

'So we are going to start finger painting at a moments notice.'

'Well seeing as you three are older than Ford and Teyla, your mental age might not decrease as far, but we should still expect some very obvious character changes.'

'Well I hate to be pushy Carson, but hurry up and find out how the hell we can reverse this.'

Carson smiled grimly and nodded before leaving the nurse to attempt to clean up the wayward Lieutenant, whilst the soldier in question attempted to bang out a version of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star on that blasted heart rate monitor using only a spoon.

This was going to be a long day.


	4. Staying Amused

**Disclaimer **Not Mine

I am sooooooo sorry about the delay in not posting anything. I cannot confirm or deny that my muse has returned, only that this filler chapter came to me, so I thought I'd post it, just to try and get back into the feel for the story. I have a vague idea of what's going to happen, but I thought that you deserve to get another chapter. Just some cuteness from John and Liz (this is isn't a "ship" story as such, after all they are only kids. I just love the John/Liz dynamic thing and truthfully I just find it easier to write for John, Liz and Carson than any other characters). Anyways, apologies once again for the delay, and hopefully I'll provide something a little more substantial soon!

**Just a Little Problem – Staying Amused**

John looked at the young girl across from him. She was really quite pretty. For a girl. She smiled softly back at him. She had dark hair and big green-brown eyes, just like him. John continued to watch her. She carefully brushed her hair. _She must be smart if she can brush her hair by herself already_ he idly ran his fingers through his black shock of hair. His mother usually brushed his hair for him. John's mind started veering off onto another track.

The nice man with the funny voice had been in to see them earlier, and said that they were allowed to play quietly. Two of the kids that were with him – he couldn't remember their names – had disappeared very quickly, while the small, bossy boy was busy with a Rubik's cube.

John wasn't sure what he had done or what had happened, but he must be sick. He wouldn't be in hospital if something wasn't wrong. He didn't feel sick. He just didn't remember how he got there. He glanced at the girl in the bed next to him. She didn't look sick either. Thinking hard, he remembered the funny-voiced man calling her Elizabeth. That was a hard name to pronounce. She looked sad.

'Are you okay Lizbeth?' The name didn't sound quite right but John did the best he could. She looked slightly startled as he said her name, before nodding. 'I'm John.' Her face broke into a smile.

'I know that silly. I didn't think you wanted to talk to me.' She placed the hairbrush carefully beside her and then turned completely to face him, picking up what appeared to be a very strange looking teddy bear. John watched her, enthralled. She was so careful with everything. Smiling again she paused before speaking. 'Did you want to play?'

John was about to say that six year old boys don't play with girls but decided against it. She looked sad and ever so slightly scared. Maybe he could make her feel better. He nodded and grinned. She smiled back. John decided that she had a nice smile.

'Got any ideas Lizbeth?'

'We could play house.' John crinkled his nose up and turned to watch the adults buzzing around them. The room wasn't busy, but up the far end he saw a lady in white put a curtain around a person who was lying in bed. His eyes then travelled to a trolley that was close-by, its contents ignored by the adults. John had an idea.

'What about Doctors and Nurses? My uncle taught me how to put a bandage on. He's a doctor.' John grinned proudly.

'Okay.' Elizabeth said warily. 'But where are the patients?'

'We'll use your teddy bear. He looks like he has a bump on his head.' Smiling John wandered carelessly over to the trolley and removed as many bandages as he could hold. As he walked back he couldn't stop glancing back up at the end of the room where the person lay hidden by curtains.

* * *

'John and Elizabeth have both started to regress as well. From what I can tell as their ages jump about they also lose memories.' Carson glanced around his medical team that had assembled in the briefing room. 'I don't know how severe this is going to get but we need answers. And soon. For the moment, at least, the Athosians have been very kind and leant us some things to keep them amused. Teddy bears and such. If you'd call them teddy bears.'

Carson was about to go on with some more serious matters concerning the change in their flagship team when a call came over the radio.

'Dr Beckett, please return to the infirmary ASAP.'

Every doctor stood up and followed the MD out of the briefing room.

* * *

Doctor Beckett did not know whether to yell or laugh. Opening his mouth at this point seemed like a bad idea anyway.

It seemed that half an hour ago Dr Kavanaugh had settled down in the infirmary after receiving a serious, but not too severe burn to a small section of his right hand. Putting his lapse in judgment and subsequent injury down to fatigue the doctor had bullied the on-duty nurse into letting him stay in the infirmary, and to tell the rest of his team that he was unavailable for the rest of the day. However it seemed that when Dr Kavanaugh awoke ten minutes later he found himself, in his words "trussed up like a Christmas turkey." His ranting had alerted the poor nurse who had then called Doctor Beckett in order to calm the man down.

And so here the poor Scottish doctor stood, at the end of a bed watching a grown man wrapped completely from head to toe in bandages yell at two petrified looking children. Carson really didn't want to yell. That would only scare the poor kids more. And so, squaring his shoulders and telling himself not to laugh at the irate scientist he spoke up, in a very calm, almost surreal voice.

'Doctor Kavanaugh if you don't calm down this moment I will not only throw you out of this infirmary I will escort you, wearing only bandages to the jumper bay and dump you on the mainland with only some very well placed needle marks for company.'

'You wouldn't.' Carson considered.

'I'd make sure you were far enough away from the Athosians of course. I would feel guilty pushing you onto them.' Kavanaugh looked for the humour in Carson's eyes. The good nature in the usually sparkling eyes of the CMO was very clearly absent. The man calmed down almost immediately. 'Thank you. Now if you'll go with Joy she'll remove those bandages.'

Kavanaugh looked slightly worried as the head nurse grinned toothily at him. It was well known in Atlantis that Joy didn't live up to her name if you messed with her nurses. It was also well known that she enjoyed bungee jumping, Greco-Roman wrestling and flower arranging and wasn't afraid to utilise any of the talents that these hobbies bestowed upon her.

With the scientist now successfully sedated (without the use of needles – which was always a good thing) Doctor Beckett turned to look towards the two children that still looked slightly scared (John had just remembered that he didn't actually _like_ hospitals, and his uncle had always scared him), Elizabeth in particular looked petrified.

'I'm sorry.' Carson's heart nearly broke as he saw the young girl's lip tremble as she fought not to cry. 'We were just playing.' Carson smiled softly and without thinking that the girl in front of him was actually his boss, he gathered her in his arms in a bear hug.

'Doctor Kavanaugh is always cranky.' Elizabeth snuffled into Carson's lab coat. He moved so he could look into her eyes. 'But whatever possessed you to bandage him up?' John finally spoke up to answer that question (he was not going to tell _anyone_ that he didn't like hospitals, especially not Lizbeth).

'We were playing Doctors and Nurses. My uncle is a doctor and showed me how to bandage my teddy bear. We'd already helped Lizbeth's bear.' Carson finally noticed an Athosian 'teddy bear' in the same state of bandaged-ness that Doctor Kavanaugh had been in.

'We just wanted to help.' Elizabeth's voice was no longer teary as she got courage from John's words. 'Are you angry at us?' Carson smiled warmly.

'No. Just in future play Doctors and Nurses with teddy bears. Leave the real patients to me.' Carson was taken by surprise as Elizabeth hugged him, her small arms around his neck. She then stepped back and stood next to John again. 'Would you like something to eat?' John grinned.

'Yes please.'

'Okay, go back to bed and I'll get you something.' John grabbed Elizabeth's hand and they wandered back to the other end of the room. It was really quite sweet. Carson smiled.

The scene was broken as an uncompleted Rubik's cube was thrown across the room, connecting soundly with a heart rate monitor.


End file.
